I UNDERSTAND... NO REALLY, I DO
I find myself saying so often to the people I coach ‘I understand’.. ironically, two words that can often be spoken by people that seem like they don’t really understand at all. I know I’ve felt that way, looking to someone and wondering
‘how can they possibly understand, when they seem so far removed from the place I am currently in life?’
It’s funny, because sometimes I forget how bad things were, how much my life, my body and mind have changed since that time. It seems like a distant memory, a bad dream. I remember dreaming of the day that it would feel like that, and now that iI’m here I’m not even aware of it - until i’m faced with a bad day, or a challenge, or the all-too familiar anxiety that reminds me that time in my life wasn’t actually too long ago. Reminding me, that although it feels so distant, so removed from who I currently am - to not become complacent. Because complacency, suppressing those emotions, leaving things un-challenged creates the perfect, toxic environment for those thoughts to start creeping back in. For your actions to slowly change without you consciously realising. You’re so much stronger, but you’re still vulnerable; like someone who’s just had a cast removed from their once-broken leg. You’re better, but still fragile; you still need to work on your strength, still need to do those physiotherapy exercises, still need to be mindful that your actions aren’t making things worse - that you listen to when you need more rest or more care, that you challenge yourself to walk that extra bit when part of it scares you the most.
Although that time in your life has passed, you can still remember what it felt like to be paralysed. To feel stagnant, literally and metaphorically; to feel weak, feel alone, feel like there were all these things you wanted to do and achieve in life but you couldn’t. There was something stopping you.
I still remember what if feels like to be broken. Maybe something someone says in passing will remind me, or something my mum told me I once did, or I’ll see an old photo or read an old journal entry. Something someone says during a coaching call transports me back to that feeling, that time; the old mindset, the old actions.
But instead of feeling sadness, anger, regret… I feel motivated. Inspired.
Why? It not only reminds me of how far I’ve come… but it reminds me of my deep desire to help. And this past life-experience puts me in, what I believe to be one of the the best possible places to help.
I remember what being broken feels like, but I also remember what I did to change that feeling. I remember the actions I took, the mindset I adopted, the goals I set and the techniques I tried. I remember the countless books, articles, scientific journals I read, the youtube videos and podcasts I listened to; the stuff that helped and the stuff that didn’t. I remember what motivated me, how I used it to push past the crippling anxiety and the voice in my head. I remember what it felt like to begin to think more clearly, feel more deeply; for the icy numbness to melt away. What it felt like when I started being able to nourish myself, to honour my body signals, to have more mental space for true passions and desires rather than food and exercise obsession.
I remember what it feels like to stop existing, and start living.
And I understand what it feels like to feel stuck in that first place.
I really do.
I understand how difficult it is, but I know how you can get to the other side. And I know that you can. I can’t give you a one-way ticket there, but I can show you the path through the deep forest, and guide you when you begin to feel lost, when you don’t know which way to turn or how you can possibly keep going.
I was guided too, by all the information I scoured through online, by a jig-saw I created from piecing random things together. I mean - I had left uni, so what else was I going to dedicate all my time, my over-studying, over-achieving, anxious perfectionistic brain to? I needed something to study, something to learn - and what better way to help others in the future if I could first help myself? (I say what better way, when in reality there is no other way. You can’t help others if you can’t help yourself, you can’t pour from an empty cup.)
This is why I started UNCOVER coaching. To carve the path, to give you the blueprints to make your journey a little easier - whether you’re recovering from disordered eating habits, working through anxiety, or even if you simply just want to shift some negative thought patterns, release some subconscious beliefs, change your mindset or your outlook on life. To have one person to support and guide instead of scouring the internet for the information and the delivery that suits you. that’s my job - to design that for you, to make it personalised and unique to YOU.
I’m not driven by business or by my need to achieve, but by my understanding. I have been there. And I wish I’d had someone to guide me that really, truly understood. Someone to give me the tools to help myself, to give me the preventative support before things spiralled further and I was in need of professional help.
Healthcare in this world needs to change. And whilst I can’t at this point change the whole system, I can start by making a difference in the small circle around me. Because any change in life starts with the smallest steps.
Take this as a sign to start making your own small steps, whatever they might be, too.
for any enquiries about coaching, please visit https://www.uncovercoaching.com or send me a message on Instagram @thehippychickpea.