the more i experience life, the more i experience the duality in everything.
with this awareness comes acceptance; acceptance that this is ‘normal’, this is okay, and even - this is beautiful.
transitions in life seem to heighten this duality for me. perhaps it is the new environment; the fresh perspective of new conversations and faces, the unique clarity that adrenaline can give - or perhaps it is the way that the past diffuses into the present and into the future. noticing how something doesn’t trigger you anymore, or how it elicits a different yet similar subconscious response. the conscious choice to detach from those thoughts that have followed you to the present moment, the conscious choice to experience and recognise your actions, to dance the fine line between self-care and self-sabotage and figure out what each means to you.
the patterns that recur; the people you attract and the people that you avoid - asking yourself, what do I see in them and how does that relate to me? reminding yourself - the mirror on the wall is only surface deep, that our true reflection cannot be seen in glass but through the people around us, close and distant.
transitions, changes, new chapters in life are exciting and exhausting; exhilarating and overwhelming; joy-filled and anxiety-ridden. on one hand you feel so free, so empowered, so proud of your growth and bravery and for diving into the deep end - plunging into the unknown with only your instinct and intuition to guide you. on the other, you can feel so alone in your journey, conscious of your consciousness and tendency to self-censor as your mind tries to protect you from isolation and exclusion. faced daily with realisations of cracks within yourself still to be addressed; battling the self-doubt and hesitance to trust and flow and listen.
in these times, embrace the rust and the dirt; the messy, unfinished, work-in progress that we all are - that we all so strongly try to hide. be thankful for the mirrors around you, the learning curves of trying and failing, picking yourself back up again and not being afraid to continue to explore. be open, be vulnerable - you’ll be surprised to find out how many people around you feel the same way. afraid of not being liked, not coming across the right way; afraid of losing grasp on everything you’ve worked so hard to achieve. afraid to admit that sometimes you wonder if this duality means you’re teetering on the edge.
the truth is, there is no bad or good. the ups and the downs seamlessly intertwine; the sunshine as your heart palpitates, the laughing before you disassociate. we are told to eradicate, when we really need to navigate - to trust your internal compass, that sixth-sense, the higher self that doesn’t suppress but guides you through the ebbs and flows.
the rocky seas and tepid lakes.